Today I took the first, tentative steps towards becoming myself again. Or, more accurately, towards becoming the latest version of me, who I think I'll call Kate the Great Balancer.
Since my sub-4 "victory" in October, I have neglected my fitness and my training. Instead, I've thrown myself into work (by necessity) and my social life (a mixture of Christmas, engagement...). It was great to take one item of stress off the list, and, unfortunately, when I'm not getting a breathing break until 8/9pm, that's what exercise was- just pure stress. I tried a run commute one morning (humid, backpack-ed, highway 8-miler) and felt good until about 10am, fine until 8pm, and absolutely shattered for the rest of the week. Oh, and some random DOMS kept me awake until I had to resort to ibuprofen.
So, here I am, nearly 2 months post race, feeling like a spotty blimp. My skin is terrible, and I've never felt less inclined to try bridesmaid dresses or bikinis on. My fat clothes are tight, and my skinny clothes are a distant dream. But I don't regret a thing. Well, not really. I've had a pretty impressive year at work, and feel good about performance, and about the recognition I'm getting. I had a fantastic time enjoying the Christmas season, and showing my ring off time and time again.
So, no regrets, but with a venue booked and a date set, I'm ready to commit again, and today I set out for my first outdoor ride in probably 6 months. It was slow, the hills hurt more than they should have, and the headwind on the way back just about broke my spirit, but it was great to be on the bike again. My bike computer hit 500km during the ride, and my first "Kate the Great Balancer" goal is to hit 1000 by March.
Merry Christmas folks!
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Last night, during my sister's work Christmas function, one of her good friends and colleagues was hit by a car. He is, I think, in critical but "stable" condition, but will be undergoing more extensive brain surgery as the week progresses. He's only 23, and on the cusp of an exciting grown-up life.
Please send your prayers this way.
Please send your prayers this way.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
As you all know, work's been crazy busy recently, and although I suspected a proposal was in the pipeline, with moving*, work, engagement parties, christmas dos and general busy-ness, and my Dad leaving the country, I was starting to wonder whether there was any real chance of it happening this year :-)
But, when P started suggesting we set aside time to go for a run up Tinakori hill, I started to get suspicious. He just doesn't ordinarily show such initiative ;-) I tried not to be too cocky- there've been some near misses recently, like the time we stopped halfway home, he looked into my eyes with SUCH intensity and suggested we detour past the lookout. But when we decided to bring the run forward from Monday to Sunday, I was pretty sure it was going to be It. So, I got him to bring in my cute pink running skirt and pale pink tank top, I made sure I held onto my camera, applied plenty of anti-perspirant (my WORD it's been humid here), and I asked him to bring my handbag in (which contained a special secret).
We met at work at 4, and I got changed. I love the pink skirt, and even with the extra 10-15lb on me, it makes me feel sooo cute :-) I knew I was right when I saw that he was wearing his favourite, not-really-appropriate-for-running, top and carrying a back pack. So not needed for a short run, with the car parked in town :-)
When he pulled the bag of gummi snakes out, I was certain, and wishing I wasn't!
There were a few awkward points on the way up the hill, with both of us eager to get to the top, both of us nervous, and both of us struggling against a combination of hangovers (me) sore legs (him) and humidity (both of us).
I was the leader of the run, as I know the hill better than him.. Unfortunately, I don;t know it well, and had forgotten that the "view" of fabulous, amazing Wellington harbour is obscured by the pine trees on the side of the hill. Ooops.
As we looked for a place to stop and admire the non-view, I chattered incessantly, and Boy got progressively quieter. Eventually, we found a spot, and I sat down nd fiddled with the camera. He walked behind me, feeding me gummi snakes, and then said "darling, I have a present for you." Lamely, I replied "is it a gummi snake?", and then turned around (it involved a complete and very odd 360) as he said all the required lovely things, dropped to one knee and said those 4 special words. I squeaked, then jumped and said absolutely, enveloping him in a sweaty hug.
We spent the walk down the hill being excited in a content sort of way. I loved hearing about asking my dad for my hand, getting advice from his friends, and the process of designing and making the ring. I have to say, the proposal felt so natural that I postponed the teary sentimentality for quite awhile. If that sounds like I'm not rapt, its coming out wrong. But hearing that he loves me, and knowing it, is nothing new.
Sometimes (ok, very very frequently) a special moment hits me with an overwhelming wave of love when I look at P, or when I see the pictures of us on Facebook, or when I talk to him, or when he tells me he loves me. Other times, the love is playful, it's in the tickles, the nicknames and the goodnight routines. The proposal was amazing, the ring was amazing, but they didn't quite hit my "overwhelming wave of love nerve." But then later, thinking about what the ring represents to us, the new family we're creating and the fact that I get to spend forever with my darling bear, my best friend and the cutest guy ever- THAT's when I got the teary feeling.
It's hard to know what to say- I wish I'd been able to blog every day this week, as every day has held something new. The excitement of the Day 1 squeals and constant calls/texts and emails, the amazing messages of love and celebration we've received from friends and family, my dad's inadequate response to my news, signing up to The Knot for real, taking those first serious steps to setting a date (31 January 2009, almost certainly), realising my finger feels naked without my ring already, working til 1am and nearly crying at missing my fiance so much, hearing about Boy referring casually to me as fiance the first time. My god a lot can happen in a couple of days!
*Oh yeah, we moved last week!