It's not my fault (aka "rest day")

It's not my fault that the evening of my rest day was sunny, clear and still after a day of cold fog.

It's not my fault that I finished work on time.

It's not my fault that I was cold all day and ate to warm up, and thus, was buzzing with energy to burn.

It's not my fault that dinner was over by 7:15 and that it was still light when P left at 7:30.

It's not my fault our bus passed someone running up *my* hill.

It's not my fault that there was nothing on TV.

It's not my fault that my ipod was fully charged.

It's not my fault that my legs, completely unbidden, carried me off the couch and into my room; got me changed from trackies into polypro tights, black running shorts, sports bra, singlet, polypro top and cap.

It's not my fault that my feet snuck into my (detested) adidas running shoes, laced up and headed out.

And it's CERTAINLY not my fault that the random route I took around the suburb led to an enticing little hill, perfect for running up and down...

So much for my rest day. But, I figure I don't get that URGE to run as often as I used to, and I want to indulge it, in case it runs away again. And, I can take a rest day later this week, right? I also compromised, by jogging to cool down and then doing some walking after I'd warmed up and done 4 hill reps (2:09, 2:06; 2:06; 2:05) Oh my god. My spaghetti bolognese was not sitting well. It's an evil wee hill. Starts flattish, then gets steeper and steeper as you climb. My first rep was a mess- started fast and strong, then had to gasp the whole second half. It's deceiving, running up short hills! Looks like you're nearly there, but only because of the absurd gradient!

My ipod made good company, and I played my power songs for the last rep. I love having such a random selection of music on my runs! (Eminem, N'sync, Live, Songs from Les Mis and West Side Story, Gwen Stefani, Offspring (woah, nostalgia trip), Fat Boy Slim, S Club 7, The Finn Brothers, Queen.)

It reminded me about my theme song for this season- Queen's "Don't Stop Me Now." The song is perfect for my first season. Although what it's actually about is far less wholesome than triathlon, it's all about speeding along (I'm a shooting star leaping through the sky/ like a tiger defying the laws of gravity/ I'm a racing car passing by like Lady Godiva/ I'm gonna go go go there's no stopping me) and (duh) not stopping. Most importantly, it's about letting go, rocking out, and having fun (Don't stop me now/ I'm having such a good time/ I'm having a ball), and I think that's the MOST important thing about this season for me. For too long exercise has been about losing weight, about training and improving, and although the fun has always/mostly been there, it's never been number one.

Speaking of "don't stop me", I did get back on the bike yesterday. It was a perfect day, and I'm not going to let my stupidity and complete uselessness waste a perfectly good day! So did a "brick". Not a proper brick, but a run/bike, since that's what I'm doing this Sunday. I was nervous on the bike, did a lot of braking round corners, and was superduper prepared for every traffic light. I spent a fair bit of time unclipped and just riding along with my foot on top of the pedal. Oh well. I also have tried to do some positive visualisation, so now I see myself riding around that evil corner well. Thanks for all the comments. I knew I would be back on, and I recognised the vicious "lack of confidence" cycle. And I've remembered other goals of mine over the past couple of years- relinquishing control (occasionally) and learning to keep at things I'm not good at (not a favourite.. I've always been good at enough things that I haven't had to!) So, this time next year, I'll be screaming downhill at speed. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!